An ode to what never happened

To the future that ceased to exist
Present taking a different direction
To the songs which lost meaning
Lyrics dematerializing into silence

All i wanted to happen
All that never did
All which made me happy
All that never will

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Thinking

I still think a lot, yes i still do
As much as i do not want to
We all know it makes it worse
What i call the thinker’s curse
When the cacophony outside
Cant drown the silence within

All the unanswered questions
About the unlearned lessons
Reminders of all those failures
Highlighting usual behaviors
When all the correct answers
Cant convince the conscience.

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Why Still?

I know this is not my style of writing. Neither is it my current emotional state. An old poem. Doesn’t feel as profound as it used to anymore. But still feels good enough to share. Oh and yes, it is cheesy as hell

 

Why still doing
The duties no longer yours
Why still searching
for keys to broken doors

Why still repeat
What is not meant to be
Why still ignore
what everyone can see

Why still persist
When all was ripped apart
Why still? Why?
Asked my broken heart

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While life moved on …

There was a buzz in the air,
Everything seemed sound.
All felt just perfect but
Problems chose to compound.
That was where I stood
While life moved on.

Its hard to say I saw it coming,
But there was animosity around.
Left scars time couldn’t heal,
Parts of myself now all but gone
All because I tried to stay
While life moved on.

There is more to it though,
Not just uncertainties that gain ground.
There are good times to look back at
With better ones certainly inbound.
The spirit seemingly lost
Will again undoubtedly be found
And a time will soon come when
I’ll look back with a smile profound,
At the time I chose to stay
While life moved on. . . . .

Broken

Coloured the lives around him,
With the only palette he had.
The monochrome left inside
Haunting his petty existance.

Smiling, joking, all a facade
Till the rest had left him be.
His silent screams only hid
His tearless tormented wails

Tries to change for everyone
What he couldnt for himself
In hopes to heal the wounds
That cripple him from within

Silence

Silence is a reality,
None lay oblivious to.
Surfacing when mirage
Of expectations shatters

Silence is a mystery,
Harrowing the unprepared
Comforting the disoriented
And intoxicating the addict.

Silence is a symphony,
Of emotions and thoughts
Where distractions fade
And the reality dissipates.

Silence is a necessity,
Because beyond delusions,
Which hide our true face,
Is just inaudible innuendos

Photographs

Memories are like old photographs,
Nothing but a distant reminder.
With subtle vanishing contrasts,
And a silent fading existence.
As the smudges of revisited times
Only slightly coat the reality’s flaws.

They change every time
Even if, just a little.
A little less accurate,
A little more wishful,
A little less permanent,
A little more to be desired.

Both full of the same nostalgia,
But at their essence, poles apart.
Photos are what we choose to see,
Memories are what we truly are.

Smile

I see that smile,
Nothing extraordinary,
But what it does to me,
What it makes me want to do,
Is nothing short of it.

I see that smile,
That makes moments matter,
Efforts worthwhile,
Mundane exciting,
And silence enticing.

I see that smile,
When i close my eyes,
When i keep them open,
When i look around,
Or look at nothing.

I see that smile,
Every day,
Every minute,
And all it makes me do,
Is hope that it lasts forever,
Because when i see that smile,
The world lights up,
And i end up finding,
A reason to smile too.